How to Write the Lyrics to a Generic Pop Song

1. Open your dictionary.

This one.

2. Pick a suitable word, nouns work best. The word I chose was liquor. This will form the basis of your chorus. It will also be the title of the song. The last lines of the chorus will be as follows:

It's like [insert word here]
It's like [insert word here]


Repeat as many times as you think is necessary for the word to stick in the listener's head, thus encouraging them to remember the name of the song, and buy it on iTunes or whatever the kiddies are doing these days.


3. Find some cliche expressions and puns to do with your chosen word. This should cover the verses. Make sure to throw in some double entendres for sex appeal.

4. Now it's time to write a bridge. You don't need lyrics for this. The easiest way to do this is just some "Oh, oh yeah"s and various other vocalisations.

5. Ladies: take a tasteful artsy topless photo of yourself for the song's promotional purposes.
   Gentlemen: take a tasteful artsy topless photo of a female for the song's promotional purposes.

6. Record.

7. ???

8. Profit.

For example:

Liquor
Liquor? Please.
I hardly even know her
The room's still spinning
And I dread to think of the hangover


Pour another drink
And let's toast the good times


CHORUS:
Being with you makes me love-drunk
It's like liquor (yeah)
Liquor (yeah)
It's like liquor (yeah)
It's like liquor


I'm sooooooooooo wasted
Take me home
Let's not waste the night
Take photos with our phones


Pour another drink and let's drink to the good times


CHORUS

BRIDGE:
Ooooh, yeah, baby you're like liquor
Oooh yeah, got me so love drunk
Oooh, yeah, baby baby baby
You're like...


CHORUS as many damn times as you want to.

Note: what makes this song really work is the use of many cliches that are commonly used in songs about alcohol. This makes the lyrics a nice, safe, mainstream choice.

I'm actually wearing a strapless top in this, the bottles make me look more nude and therefore classier.