Calici the Rabbit and Friends

So today, my dear mother decided to have a garage sale. And by that, I mean she decided a week ago and the thing was today, but anyway. So we’ve spent the past few days sorting through junk in the garage, deciding whether or not to sell it, and putting on the little yellow price stickers.



Pictured: a freaking pain in the behind. It's hard enough just trying to get them out of the little dispenser.



While searching through the masses of junk and slowly getting covered in yellow stickers, I came across three toys of great significance in my childhood:

• A small, multicoloured elephant
• A blue magnadoodle
• A white rabbit (or, at least, it was white once. It was now a murky grey.)

Bam went the wave of nostalgia, and thus, I bring you more traumatising childhood memories…


The small, multicoloured elephant:

One of my earliest memories was of the day my birthmother and my brother William came to visit- David can’t have existed by this point, so I can’t have been that old. I remember him being a picky eater and refusing to eat the onions on his pizza. I also remember playing on the couch with him. I’m not sure exactly what we were playing. It appeared to be some sort of horrible murderous death game in which William kept dying. (This was nothing to do with me. He was, and still is considerably stronger than me.) Anyway, overprotective of him as ever, it was Super-Elephant to the rescue. I’m not entirely sure how Super-Elephant rescues dead Williams, but I do remember that Super-Elephant’s main form of transportation was using his ears like Dumbo to fly towards my brother, who miraculously came back to life, only to die again by launching himself of the couch like a lemming. Only it turns out lemmings are not suicidal and that the famous footage was created by throwing them off a cliff. Make that two Disney references thus far in my post.



No, I do not really know what lemmings look like. In every other regard, however, the scene looked exactly like this.




The Blue Magnadoodle


Magnadoodles were a little like Etch-a-Sketches back in the day, but with more scope for creative expression, mostly because rather than using little knobs, you were provided with a magnet pen which allowed you to create intriguing, thought-provoking artwork. For example:

It was the shiz.



The (formerly) white rabbit

It was a gift given to me when I was little, so little that I forget who gave it to me or the circumstances surrounding it. I do know that it was shortly after seeing Alice in Wonderland (Disney reference number three) on video, which I hadn't particularly enjoyed, that I received it, as I was originally going to name it "The White Rabbit." (Originality was not my strong point at that stage of my life.) Even then, however, I didn't like the name.

Shortly after, we went to stay with my Aunt Diana for a few days. Now, this was around '96 or '97, at any rate, during the heyday of the Calici virus. For those of you that are somewhat uneducated, it would pay to do a little googling. At any rate, it was a virus that caused bunnies to die somewhat horrible deaths, which was good news for the farmers, because rabbits are a pest. I'd heard it been talked about on the news a little, although I was far too young to comprehend what any of it meant. So when Diana suggested I name the toy bunny Calici, I thought it was a beautiful name for a rabbit. Which just goes to show what sort of a childhood I had.


   At any rate, the garage sale is over, and I made a total of $24, which I will probably blow on either cocaine, hookers, or cheese. Except I can't afford cocaine or hookers, nor do I have an interest in them very much, so cheese it shall be.

Hurrah!

These People Are Awesome

So, new followers, and a whole lot of people from gathering have been reading my blog and telling me how much they love it. This just goes to prove the point I made in my previous post that these people are freaking awesome. Thanks guys. Is it pretty picture time? Yeah, I think it's pretty picture time.

Ok, so this is a picture I drew while I was in Dunedin, about how the whole place was making me think. Like, a lot. To the point where I came home a bit of a head case. But happy!

That's the happiest head case you'll ever see!

"Vegetarian Camp"

   So just over a week ago, I heard from FS (Friendly Stranger from the previous post) who informed me that his couch surfing journeys had taken him to Dunedin, where he was due to attend a gathering. He then sent me a link to their website, and contemplated asking me to join him there. Unfortunately for him, I'd already decided to attend Summer Gathering, based on approximately two minutes of reading their website, so whether he liked it or not, I would be there.

"Muuuuuum! Mum, can I go to this thing that FS has invited me to?"
"Isn't he the one who took us to the Topp Twins?"
"Yes. That one."
"Ooooh I liked him, he took us to the Topp Twins. Where is it?"
"Dunedin."
"Oh, pass the phone here, I'll just get you a bus ticket."

   My mum can be rather easily won over. I blame the nice shirt FS was wearing the night he met her. That was forward thinking on his part.

   Feeling more free than fruit from the bin, I informed him that I would see him there, realised it started in only a couple of days, and hastily started packing and arranging to meet people in Dunedin. (Namely David.) Decided I ought to let boyfriend know too, considering he generally comes to see me almost every day.

   Informing boyfriend proved to be something of a mistake.

   It was the fact that all the meals were to be vegetarian that started him off. He (for some bizarre reason) found this hilarious.
"You're going to vegetarian camp!" he declared. I sighed and took another bite of the chicken I had roasted. As explained in the previous post, being a vegetarian in the south of the south island isn't always easy. People always call you a bit of a funny burger. Also. Meat is delicious. This may explain why boyfriend found it so funny. Ugh, carnivores.

   Despite his teasing, I was still keen to go, and gladly skipped onto the bus in the morning with my six bags (half of which were bedding, because I am a notoriously bad traveller) and little sleep. I fell asleep in the bus and missed a food stop in Roxburgh, which was gutting because I assumed it was the last time in a week or so I'd be able to enjoy meat. Unless I'd just had a Jimmy's Pie. Mmmmm, a whole golf ball of fat. How nutritious.

   I arrived in Dunedin, was hug-raped by my friend Stevie, who looks like a duck, and we sat and waited for David and his girlfriend, Anita to turn up. Then we all headed into town and Anita and I sat and stole David's lollies and giggled as David and Stevie played a game of chess. Yes. Chess.

   Had a lovely time with them, eventually made it to the Steiner school where the gathering was being held and said goodbye to them.

   Bam. Massive atmosphere change. I'd gone from laughing and singing and yelling out car windows with Stevie the duck and co, to this incredibly quiet, peaceful place at the gathering. FS introduced me to a few people there, and I set up my bed, with the wonderful smells of vegetarian pizza permeating my nostrils. I was starting to enjoy this whole situation.

   Look. Let's just clarify. The food over the whole course of the gathering was freaking wonderful. It really was. I barely missed meat at all, until the second-to-last night when I had a dream involving beautiful, delicious steak. But when there are twenty or so people and meals with a high bean content... It's not the best aroma. Oh god. I just made a flatulence reference on my precious blog. Oh dear.

   We participated in many wonderful activities. One of these was a treasure hunt, created by myself, Rene, and FS, but mostly FS, because he's probably the more intelligent one. Oh, and it was his idea. It was an epic adventure about Blackbean the Pirate, who was on the run from Captain Rene the Red, who he had stolen treasure from. The treasure being delicious Black Bean Brownie. Anyway, with all these B's and R's, naturally, the treasure hunt ended with a team challenge, to provide a raving rendition of the Queen classic, Bohemian Rhapsody. I do believe FS was the only person to truly get into it. Air guitar for the win.

   Within only a few days, a really open, caring community was created at this gathering. I can put this down to the fact that everyone there was awesome. Seriously, there was no one there I was able to dislike for any reason at all, and it was lovely.

   In fact, it prompted a small of us to attempt a "cultural experiment" when asked to create a cultural experience for the rest of the group there. We decided to contrast the lovely culture we had at gathering with the culture we would experience outside of gathering. We started at lunch time, sitting individually away from everyone else and just being quite rude and antisocial- in a subtle way. Afterwards, people pointed out the difference. It really showed what a positive atmosphere there was there- and how easily that could be spoiled with elements of negativity. It was fascinating.

   One evening, David came to join us, as he only lives a couple of streets away from the school. He joined in with a game we were playing, which was basically a confused game of charades, in which, during the first round we had to describe the character, then in the second round make a noise to represent the character (which was somewhat impossible) and then a gesture. FS was, naturally, fantastic.

   Near the end of the gathering, a very small group of us went to paint murals by the new stadium. In the pouring rain I might add. Good ol' sunny Dunedin rolling out the good weather for us as ever. Our "summer gathering" had mostly occurred indoors, due to the lack of summer. However, we eventually completed our two murals. Because David goes past the new stadium on a regular basis, I included a painting of Rainbow Boots herself, with a little speech bubble reading "Hi Cookie" because that's all I could fit in it. One girl with us, Rachel, who is rather (healthily) obsessed with Michael Jackson painted one of his quotes beneath my Rainbow Boots hero. The sun even came out temporarily.

   On the way back, we called in to see my birthfather rather briefly as a lovely end to my time in Dunedin. It was, as ever, fantastic to see him again.

   Liz stopped in Roxburgh to buy me a Jimmy's Pie so I could get my meat fix. It was disgusting. I filled up on fresh orchard fruit on the rest of the car trip. Much nicer.

  We also stopped at a strange shop in Alexandra, where I purchased two cans of coloured hairspray, a giant candle and a canvas print of Michael Jackson (Rachel would be proud of me!) all for $23. Amazing.

I've had a lovely time in Dunedin, and boyfriend can laugh at me all he wants.

By the way, sorry about the lack of pretty pictures. I'll put some up later.

Pretty pictures time!

Rene the Red and Blackbean's Pirate Treasure Hunt

The treash-ARR map

She's a Flower, a poem I wrote there

My beautiful Michael picture.

Welcome to the Cool Club, Ray

I was so excited to discover I had a twelth (twelfth? 12th, at least) follower, at about 12:30 am. Cool beans. Sweetbix. Etc. So now lets all congratulate Ray on his sensible decision, and reward him with the honour of being immortalised in MS Paint for all the internet to see. Thanks Ray. :)

Look at that pretty hair.

Fun Recipes You Probably Shouldn't Try (Mostly Cakes)

Sweetbix Cake

Boyfriend asked me to draw him a picture of sweetbix. This is what I drew.

You will need:

• Sponge Cake. At least three years old is best for this recipe
• Weetbix (should be at least half as old as the sponge.)
• Soy sauce
• Olive oil

Take the sponge and scrape all the mould off it. (This can be saved for a tasty treat for later.) Then sprinkle on the weetbix. Pour on three cups of soy sauce and and half a cup of olive oil. Fry in a frypan for two hours, eat with a bucket handy.


Yum Yum Cement Cake

Mix cement up and put in a cake tin lined with baking paper. Put in the oven for however long you like, I honestly don't care, and neither, it seems, do you. Season to taste, then make sure you sing Bob the Builder as you enjoy this... uh... delicacy.



Leaky Biro Soup
(this recipe is in dedication to my lovely co-writers at the Leaky Biro)

You will need:

• 1 packet of jelly crystals, the flavour is relatively unimportant, its just sugar, gelatine and colouring.
• One malfunctioning ballpoint pen
• One pair of rainbow striped gumboots, finely sliced
• Three carrots (the evil variety, preferably dead and hacked up into small cubes

Place all ingredients into a large pot. Mix for a week or so. Argue over the finer points of grammar. Soup is ready after everyone is feeling mildly insulted. Season to taste, and enjoy.

Stargazing, Rock Hugging, Funny Burgers and Yodelling Lesbians- 2011 Thus Far

   Well. 2011 has been… interesting thus far.


   I spent new years eve walking down the hill I live on to get into town where I was meeting my boyfriend. (Fine, I was going to go watch the fireworks too.) I wasn’t too keen about walking, because it was dark, and I was getting paranoid about rapists and murderers. While avoiding being raped/murdered, I bumped into another group of people walking into town.

   “You aren’t rapists or murderers are you?” I asked.

   “We’re the group hoping to be raped and murdered. If you’re trying to avoid that, you should probably join the group further down the hill. They’re the anti rape and murder group.”

   How reassuring.

   However, I began talking to one particular member of the group how assured me that he was not a rapist, to his knowledge, and at any rate, he and I made it safely into town with neither of us being raped and/or murdered. That’s always a good start to a night.

   We spent a majority of the time before midnight looking for boyfriend, who took his time getting there, and trying to avoid heavily intoxicated Gorons. (for those unfamiliar with the term, it refers to certain people from Gore, who may not be quite as intelligent as the rest of us.) Having been drunkenly groped by one of them, we ran off to the gardens where we could safely presume they weren’t, and found a boulder. Which we then proceeded to hug. Because rocks need love too.

As do trees. And yes, I just wanted to use this picture, because I am proud of it.

   It was nearly midnight when I heard from boyfriend, and we were running around town (which was, of course, packed) trying to find him. Somewhere, at some point, I managed to lose my phone, which lead to something of a panic attack, and I nearly missed the fireworks trying to find him. (It’s rather hopeless without a phone.) The fireworks were over, boyfriend was not in sight, I was clinging on to the arm of this poor stranger to try to prevent losing him like I had my phone, and to top it all off, a bunch of intoxicated Gorons were heading in our direction. We decided to head back to the last place boyfriend had said to meet him, and on the way, although town was still packed, we miraculously found him.

 
   Heck yes I’m amazing.
   We then wandered around town, did some stargazing, found a man passed out at the bottom of my hill, tried to rescue him (and failed, he ended up spending a night in the cells most likely) and realised that it was actually freezing by now (thank goodness I had brought socks. But they wouldn’t fit under my skinny jeans, so I had to wear them over them. Hot.) and decided to part ways with our wonderful stranger (although agreeing to meet up the next day.)
   Went to the police station the next day in the hope that some kind person had handed my phone in. They hadn’t. I blame the Gorons. There were about four other people there at the same time who’d also lost their phones. At least they can blame being drunk. I had a sober new years.

   Also heard from FS (Friendly Stranger) on New Years day, and he informed me that he was going to go the Topp Twins with his mother. I informed him that my mother would be jealous, and so he invited us to join him.
   Again, for those unfamiliar, the Topp Twins… well. I had to explain them to an overseas friend of mine. “Uh, they’re like these older, yodelling, lesbian twins, and they’re part comedians, part singers, and they’re rather iconic in New Zealand. Or, as the twins themselves put it: “When we’re overseas, we tell everyone that everyone back home is just like us!” Search them on youtube, my explanations couldn’t begin to do these fine ladies justice.
   On the fourth of January, I walked to Frankton and back to buy a new phone. That was another epic adventure of mine this year, because that stuff takes forever. But I am proud of myself. Besides, I got a rather good deal on the phone.
   So, I found myself, new phone in hand, on my way to a winery to see some yodelling lesbians with FS, his mother, and my mother. Brilliant.
   My mother ditched me for most of the evening, because that appears to just be the way she is, and FS and I went off in search of food.
   I myself am not a vegetarian. Yes, I love animals. But I also find meat to be rather tasty. FS on the other hand… well. He’s a much better person than I. Thus we found ourselves at a burger stall, to see if we could find a veggie burger. We couldn’t, really. The lady selling burgers was rather amused, in fact. “Oh look, we’ve got a vegetarian!”
“Could you just leave out the meat pattie, perhaps?”
“We’ve got fish. Do you people eat fish?”

   It turns out vegetarians generally do not eat fish, as they don’t tend to grow on trees.
   “No, just vegetables please.”

   The lady then turned to glare at me. “I suppose you want a veggie burger too, do you?” I must admit, I was somewhat intimidated.
   “No thanks, I’ve just eaten."
   “Alright. I’ll put that down as a funny burger.” She insisted.

   Not even a veggie burger. FS got a “funny burger”. Welcome to the South Island.

   Funny burgers aside, the concert was rather enjoyable, even if FS’s mother kept trying to give me wine. I’m rather sure the best part was when she informed me that FS had told her that meeting boyfriend and I had been the highlight of his time in Queenstown. He got rather embarrassed and denied it, but ha. I bet she was right.

   And that is the rather condensed version of my current adventures in 2011.

Pictures!

Here are some pretty pictures. Consider them a late Christmas present. Also, the "o" key on my keyboard keeps sticking, so it is an appropriate time for a picture post.