So I'm not going to pretend I'm the most fashion conscious person on blogger. I mean, hey, you remember
this, right? Though to be honest, I got all self conscious before my Skype date with Dom and got all pretty instead. I almost feel like I've betrayed my readers. At least he was happy.
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| If it makes you feel any better, I still was wearing my leopard pants. |
However, there are a few trends that I honestly don't understand. One of these used to be drop-crotch pants. Seriously, no one wants to look like they're sagging in the crotch region, or wearing a diaper. Or whatever. And then what happened? This happened.
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| Note the crotch around my knees. |
I got a pair of leopard print drop crotch pants and now feel the need to defend myself.
First of all, I have not yet worn these in public, but mostly in the privacy of my own home. Secondly, they are comfortable. I'll be honest, in that photo, they look like pyjamas, and I have used them as such. In reality, they're more fitted around the waist, making my hips look large, but my waist comparatively tiny. Which is good. Thirdly, they are made from a soft, flowy fabric. I still have a hate for fitted drop crotch pants made from denim. All the unflattering implications of a drop crotch, none of the comfort.
So I have chosen to focus on other trends I dislike, with the help of the wonderful website,
Polyvore.
First of all, I want to talk about mullets. Not the awful hairstyles, though I have noticed some people getting this haircut "ironically." (In that case, I'm going to
ironically sit around in my pyjamas and eat cake all day, because that's also unattractive. Right?) No, I'm talking about the mullet hemline, or, as the shops selling you this gaff would prefer to call it,
asymmetrical hemline. Here's an example I made of the best and worst of mullet hemlines.
In the interests of keeping an open mind, some of these examples are almost wearable. I think the red one in the top row would look pretty cool if you were dancing, and the rest are flowy enough that they almost (
almost) look pretty in a floaty, dreamy sort of way. But then I remember that I live in the south island and the sort of skirts that are floaty and dreamy can only be worn for approximately two weeks of the year in which the weather is warm enough. Call me biased. The three dresses in the middle row are all unflattering shapes to begin with before they got mulleted. Look at that grey thing. It's a glorified hessian sack. In grey. The dress at the end isn't strictly a mullet dress, but the hemline isn't symmetrical so there is that. I guess all I can say about mullet hemlines is that I'm probably just envious of people living in a warmer climate.
And no, Auckland does not count as "warmer."
Now, let's talk hair. Hair is the bane of my life. I have a lot of it. It's thick, it's long, and it's coarse, so it tangles easily. Thank god for conditioner and hair straightners. It's also made me paranoid about my hair always looking messy. For a long time, I tolerated the trend of the messy bun. Mostly because that's all my hair would ever be should I try to put it in a bun. But not the trend has moved on to ballet top knots and big ass buns and
it must be stopped now. You know who suit ballerina top knots? BALLERINAS. If you are not a ballerina, please stop. It's doing your face little favours. Again, an example.
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| You don't have to do this to yourself! |
There are so many wonderful hair trends right now! We don't have to resort to the top knot! Heck, we don't even have to resort to the messy bun if you don't want to. Look at this beautiful example of better things you can do with your hair.
No top knots. Please. This is simple. Beautiful. Effortless looking, even if its a little less effortless to do, mostly because I am not gifted with a talent for using bobby pins and hair spray correctly.
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| Well this was my simplified attempt at the stylish hair the redhead above has. I told you I'm not gifted. AT LEAST IT'S NOT A TOP KNOT. |
Even a hat. A headband. Anything but the dreaded topknot.
Finally, to end on a positive note, a fashion trend that I love in this horribly cold part of the world. After all, I still intend to move to Dunedin, where the rain is horizontal. SWEATERS! I'm not talking about the flimsy, super thin, knitted, trendy pieces of garbage you'll find at your local Dotti or Jay Jays here. I've got t shirts more substantial than those. That's all very well for people in warmer climates wanting to do a layered look without sweating to death. There's no fear of sweating to death in Dunedin in the winter. Layering is essential to prevent death-by-hypothermia. I'm talking grandma-knitted-it style, thick, warm sweaters. Like this.
Add some long johns, thick pants, gumboots, hat, scarf, gloves, mega thick trench coat and a sturdy umbrella and I could almost survive a Dunedin winter. Indoors.
