Shameless self promotion and other ways you can stalk me if you so desire

Sometime ago I made myself a twitter account. I posted from it... once? I think? I have no idea what to do with it because most of what I have to say takes up more than 140 characters and anything else that's witty enough goes on Facebook where people like my statuses to validate my existence. I think I'm following Dave Grohl on Twitter and maybe a couple more people but its pretty pointless as I never go on. If someone can explain to me how I should be using this Twitter thing and I get into it I'll post a link on here sometime.

   Tumblr. I didn't get that for the longest time either. Except now I do. And you should follow me, because I post pretty things and everyone loves pretty things. Rats and Rock n Roll is my personal tumblr, it has cool stuff and pretty stuff and only the occasional selfie, and you can totally ask me anything. 

   If art's more your thing (it is mine) then you can follow my art tumblr which has all my drawings, or my Facebook page for my art. I haven't really talked about it much on here but it's something I've been doing seriously for the last year or so and it's my "real job" (which, by the way kids, is a bad idea, because artists make very little money.) My work is pretty abstract and has lots of eyes and trees and rainbows, plus I also do a lot of portraits and commission work. Here's a link to my deviantart if that's your thing.

   Anyway, apologies for the link spam, and to make up for it, here's a kitten.

"Why? Because I'm fluffy, that's why."

Depression Part 2: Yes, I'm aware that I have hair, can we please talk about something else now

   So after that little breakup with Scott, I may have promised you a little series of "Adventures of a Single Girl" in which I would document all the wonderful fabulous things I was doing because I'm a strong independent woman who don't need no man because I'm too busy going off and doing my own thing all the time. And would you look at that, I haven't updated Adventures at all since that promise. Why is that?

DING DING DING DING DING. Your answer, "Bellez is a sad pathetic loser" is absolutely correct!  Your prize: this shitty drawing.

   And then I went and proved it to you by writing that little thing about how I'm miserable but I'm totally going to go get help and I was going to be optimistic about getting better despite the fact that I'm not entirely sure how to be optimistic. So it's time to update you: I "sought help."

   So I got put on the emergency list for help somehow which I think means they were worried that I'd down a bottle or two of nail polish remover despite the fact that I insisted that, while I was pretty depressed, I was far from suicidal. What the emergency list actually seems to mean is that they have a meeting about me in a couple of days and maybe I'll be able to see a counselor a week after that. Just as well I don't have the stomach for nail polish remover. Anyway. I've had my first appointment so it seems appropriate to write about how it went.

   I don't think she was actually a counselor but she was a very nice person which is always a good start. She insisted I have plenty of water to drink, sit down, and be complimented on my most defining characteristic: my hair.

This is how long and red it is now. Also,  keep in  mind it (nor I) hardly ever look this good.

While I take pride in my hair (sometimes, when I can be bothered, because with this amount of it its like taking care of a small child) it was not what I had in mind for this session. I don't know, I wanted to focus on things that I struggle to cope with, such as adoption, this bloody break up, motivation, etc. Maybe discuss stategies for coping.

   Nope. Apparently my hair is amazing and that should cure my depression.

   The only strategy suggested was to go for a daily walk in order to start to get more fit and motivate me to do something damn it. Anyway then it snowed, so I think I've been for my walk maybe four times in the last couple of weeks since the appointment? I dont know if it's helping. Anyway.

   I have no idea when the next appointment is and at the moment I'm struggling to care. I really wanted to be able to tell you guys that I'm feeling more positive about things since deciding to "get help" but now that I've actually done that, things feel more vague and pointless than ever.

  Hopefully the next update is happier..