I spent new years eve walking down the hill I live on to get into town where I was meeting my boyfriend. (Fine, I was going to go watch the fireworks too.) I wasn’t too keen about walking, because it was dark, and I was getting paranoid about rapists and murderers. While avoiding being raped/murdered, I bumped into another group of people walking into town.
“You aren’t rapists or murderers are you?” I asked.
“We’re the group hoping to be raped and murdered. If you’re trying to avoid that, you should probably join the group further down the hill. They’re the anti rape and murder group.”
How reassuring.
However, I began talking to one particular member of the group how assured me that he was not a rapist, to his knowledge, and at any rate, he and I made it safely into town with neither of us being raped and/or murdered. That’s always a good start to a night.
We spent a majority of the time before midnight looking for boyfriend, who took his time getting there, and trying to avoid heavily intoxicated Gorons. (for those unfamiliar with the term, it refers to certain people from Gore, who may not be quite as intelligent as the rest of us.) Having been drunkenly groped by one of them, we ran off to the gardens where we could safely presume they weren’t, and found a boulder. Which we then proceeded to hug. Because rocks need love too.
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| As do trees. And yes, I just wanted to use this picture, because I am proud of it. |
It was nearly midnight when I heard from boyfriend, and we were running around town (which was, of course, packed) trying to find him. Somewhere, at some point, I managed to lose my phone, which lead to something of a panic attack, and I nearly missed the fireworks trying to find him. (It’s rather hopeless without a phone.) The fireworks were over, boyfriend was not in sight, I was clinging on to the arm of this poor stranger to try to prevent losing him like I had my phone, and to top it all off, a bunch of intoxicated Gorons were heading in our direction. We decided to head back to the last place boyfriend had said to meet him, and on the way, although town was still packed, we miraculously found him.
Heck yes I’m amazing.
We then wandered around town, did some stargazing, found a man passed out at the bottom of my hill, tried to rescue him (and failed, he ended up spending a night in the cells most likely) and realised that it was actually freezing by now (thank goodness I had brought socks. But they wouldn’t fit under my skinny jeans, so I had to wear them over them. Hot.) and decided to part ways with our wonderful stranger (although agreeing to meet up the next day.)
Went to the police station the next day in the hope that some kind person had handed my phone in. They hadn’t. I blame the Gorons. There were about four other people there at the same time who’d also lost their phones. At least they can blame being drunk. I had a sober new years.
Also heard from FS (Friendly Stranger) on New Years day, and he informed me that he was going to go the Topp Twins with his mother. I informed him that my mother would be jealous, and so he invited us to join him.
Again, for those unfamiliar, the Topp Twins… well. I had to explain them to an overseas friend of mine. “Uh, they’re like these older, yodelling, lesbian twins, and they’re part comedians, part singers, and they’re rather iconic in New Zealand. Or, as the twins themselves put it: “When we’re overseas, we tell everyone that everyone back home is just like us!” Search them on youtube, my explanations couldn’t begin to do these fine ladies justice.
On the fourth of January, I walked to Frankton and back to buy a new phone. That was another epic adventure of mine this year, because that stuff takes forever. But I am proud of myself. Besides, I got a rather good deal on the phone.
So, I found myself, new phone in hand, on my way to a winery to see some yodelling lesbians with FS, his mother, and my mother. Brilliant.
My mother ditched me for most of the evening, because that appears to just be the way she is, and FS and I went off in search of food.
I myself am not a vegetarian. Yes, I love animals. But I also find meat to be rather tasty. FS on the other hand… well. He’s a much better person than I. Thus we found ourselves at a burger stall, to see if we could find a veggie burger. We couldn’t, really. The lady selling burgers was rather amused, in fact. “Oh look, we’ve got a vegetarian!”
“Could you just leave out the meat pattie, perhaps?”
“We’ve got fish. Do you people eat fish?”
It turns out vegetarians generally do not eat fish, as they don’t tend to grow on trees.
“No, just vegetables please.”
The lady then turned to glare at me. “I suppose you want a veggie burger too, do you?” I must admit, I was somewhat intimidated.
“No thanks, I’ve just eaten."
“Alright. I’ll put that down as a funny burger.” She insisted.
Not even a veggie burger. FS got a “funny burger”. Welcome to the South Island.
Funny burgers aside, the concert was rather enjoyable, even if FS’s mother kept trying to give me wine. I’m rather sure the best part was when she informed me that FS had told her that meeting boyfriend and I had been the highlight of his time in Queenstown. He got rather embarrassed and denied it, but ha. I bet she was right.
And that is the rather condensed version of my current adventures in 2011.
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