Mid-Year Resolutions

   Ok, so it’s almost September, but it’s never too late to make mid-year resolutions, which are kind of like New Year resolutions, but considerably more realistic.

For example:

·         New Year resolution: Eat healthier to lose more weight

·         Mid-Year resolution: Stop hanging out with my gorgeous fun friends who also turn up at my house with a 10 pack of donuts, a three litre bottle of coke, duck noodles, and a packet of Doritos because they were on special at Alpine Supermarket. Except for when seeing said friend means dancing really badly/highly inappropriately because at least that’s exercise. And that wasn’t a very fair statement, considering I’m the one who asks Hannah to turn up with all the food, so I owe her HEAPS, but if it balances it out, health wise, I’m the one who encourages her to dance, so it may just be ok, as long as I buy her fuckloads of food next time.

   Now that I’m salivating at the thought of duck noodles (don’t judge man, they’re amazing. And so affordable, 49c a packet!) I shall try to distract myself with my list of mid-year resolutions, which I can’t guarantee I’ll stick to.

·         New Year’s resolution: Get to know my birthfamily more

·         Mid-year resolution: Stop bullying David (and occasionally probably getting on William’s nerves)

   I’ve actually been doing pretty well with this New Year’s resolution, considering I managed to get back in contact with my brother who I hadn’t seen in forever, plus David came to stay a few weeks ago, and you know he had the time of his life.

It snowed.

This is us Skyping his girlfriend. If you look closely, you can see him using a pair of pink fluffy handcuffs as glasses. How he got a girlfriend, I don't know.

    But seriously, there’s now a page on Facebook, thanks to me and David’s girlfriend, called Tagging David Solin in Everything because he’s so rarely on that we like to bully him so that when he does go on, he’s got fifty notifications or so. Funnily enough he liked the page.

   I also give him shit about looking like a goat. This isn’t even mean, really. I mean, look at him.

He's even got the freaky rectangular pupils like goats have.

   But David’s actually a really awesome brother and I feel really bad that I’m mean to him so often when he’s always really nice to me and idolises me for reasons I don’t quite understand (No David, that’s sweet, but I’m really not cool at all) and freaking got me the Owl City album for my 18th birthday. (To be fair, that was September last year, and he only got it to me in April this year, but you got to give the kid some credit for trying.)

I fucking love my brother. And Owl City.

   Plus when Simon broke up with me immediately after the formal (who does that?) and I turned up at William’s doorstep with all my bags, bawling my eyes out because I was still upset, he made me pasta (he understands that pasta cures everything! Just kidding, it was the only food he had at the time I think. Which kind of makes it an even nicer thing that he did that for me. Even though I couldn’t eat it all and insisted he have at least half of mine. He didn’t need telling twice) handed me a beer, watched shitty movies with me and let me bitch about Simon for hours until I felt better. Then when I went to catch the bus home and missed it by five minutes, he let me stay at his that night, even though when he went out to work, I found a bottle of red wine in his room and shared it with my cousin who’d come to see me, and all he could do in the morning was laugh at me for managing to find alcohol he’d completely forgotten about. (God knows what it was doing there. William doesn’t even drink red wine.)

   And despite me being probably annoying and stealing his awesome ring, or at least the only one that fitted me (I wear it on my index finger, and it’s still kinda loose. It barely squeezed onto his pinky) he still talks to me. Who does this? The other coolest brother in the world, that’s who. Which is why I ought to be a bit better to him too. To be fair, I wrote him a pretty awesome birthday letter, though as he’s moved and I don’t actually know his address, I haven’t sent it yet, and he turned twenty four weeks ago. On the other hand, it has rainbows and stuff, so you know he’ll be stoked when he eventually gets it.

It may contain narwhals, too.

I told you it was awesome.

·         New Year’s resolution: Blog more

·         Mid-Year resolution: Blog at all

Yeah.  Sorry. I’ve been shit this year. I think I’ve developed a social life or something, plus there’s been school etc. The only reason I’m taking the time to make this a decent blog post is because I have a free Sunday in which to do this, and I felt bad that I hadn’t blogged in ages. Here, have this pretty apology picture to make up for it:

You're welcome.

·         New Year’s resolution: Get a boyfriend

·         Mid-Year resolution: Remain single

   Did I mention Simon broke up with me immediately after the formal? He even gave me a rose beforehand (William reckons his mum put him up to that) which I still have, mostly because it’s dead, and clearly so is our relationship. At least he never tried to convince me that “alot” was an actual word.

And this, folks, is why you never have a relationship tree, either. You will forget about it, and it will die, and it will be a really bad look and an incident you don’t feel comfortable discussing with your significant other. Which is worrying considering how important communication is in a relationship.

   Well that was an epic caption. You’re welcome. I’m going to have my third coffee today and listen to Nirvana. Fuck yeah.