Gay Marriage: We've come so far (except those of us who haven't)

   Recently New Zealand achieved something we should all be proud of. For once, it wasn't even anything to do with our sporting prowess, or Flight of the Concords, or Peter Jackson, or sheep, or whatever it is we're famous for now.

   Recently New Zealand made gay marriage legal. Fuck yeah indeed. It makes us only the 12th country in the world to recognise same sex marriages (along with other forward thinking countries as Sweden, Canada and the Netherlands) and the only bad thing about it is that it's not legal in most other countries. Oh, and the people here opposed to it.

Warning: rant time.

   Yes, while the rest of the country was celebrating the awesome progress we've made in giving gays the same rights as every other kiwi, there were a small minority horrified that the country, in their opinion, is going to hell in a handcart, starting with the destruction of marriage, families, and moral standards.

"GOOD HEAVENS, WON'T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN?"

   One of the opponents was Colin Craig, of New Zealand's Conservative Party. While it is one thing for him to have his own (bigoted, intolerant) opinions on gay marriage, it baffled me how he was able to say with a straight face that this is a "failure of democracy" and not something most New Zealanders wish to allow. A Facebook friend of mine suggested his ability to keep a straight face while saying all this was probably due to the "massive black dildo" he had shoved up his backside at the time. I'll let you make your own decision on that one.

   On top of that, there's now Protect Marriage NZ urging kiwis to pledge not to vote for politicians who voted in favour of gay marriage. Is this democracy in action? Absolutely. Is it still ignorant? Heck yeah. Do heterosexual marriages in New Zealand really need "protecting"? From what, exactly? How will gay marriage threaten the sanctity of heterosexual marriage? One time, about a year ago, I was in a bar with some friends when a man thirty years (ish) my senior came up to me and asked if I wanted to be his fourth wife. I'm telling you, there's nothing sacred or special about that.

   Are you opposed to gay marriage because of your religious beliefs? I don't mean to frighten you, but people of any religion can get married. Even atheists. Marriage does not belong exclusively to Christians, Jews, Muslims, Hindus, Wiccans or Pastafarians. If you want a religious marriage following your spiritual beliefs, go right ahead. The fact that two people of the same sex can have a marriage based on their values does not affect you at all.

   Are you opposed to gay marriage because gays squick you out because whenever you think about gay relationships, all you can picture is ew, bumsex? You should probably stop picturing it. Unless you want to picture it. I'm not one to judge. (On a side note, you do realise that straight couples can engage in anal intercourse too, right? Are you going to picture that every time you think about heterosexual relationships?)

Anyway. I'm sorry, that was a massive rant. I'm done now, almost. I just want to leave you with this final point. I don't know if I will ever get married in the future. And most likely not to the drunk guy who offered to let me be his fourth wife. But I certainly won't try to stop anyone else in this country from their right to get married. Love is love, whether you're gay, straight, bisexual.... and everyone should have equal rights to love.

   Even  Colin Craig, who is in love with his possibly delusional view of New Zealanders' views.

A Quick Adoption Update

   So I've recently had the best week in Dunedin.

Even though I was ill most of the time.

   Anyway, seeing as whenever I get serious on this blog, I'm talking about adoption, I thought I'd update you on some cool things that have happened as far as having more contact with my birthfamily goes.

   I've made progress.

   My birthmother and I are now on talking terms- I went to see my little brother and her and I just started hanging out and talking. It was fantastic. It makes me really grateful for the fact that I'm able to have contact with my birthfamily because even if it took time, things are starting to get better. I think that's definitely the lesson to take away from what I've learnt with having contact with my birthfamily, especially now most of them are taking more of an interest in my life. It hasn't always been this way, but persistence has helped. Don't give up, yo. Anything's possible.

   Also ended up hanging out with my birthfather and my little brother Kaleb on the same day that I saw my mother. I'd felt a little guilty for not having spent as much time with Kaleb as I had with my other brothers but we made up for lost time and did some finger painting together and he got me to help him paint his face.

Not quite sure what the look he was going for here was.

   And finally, one evening while hanging out in the gardens with Scott and waiting for a friend, we met some people who knew William. This isn't surprising because its Dunedin and as it turns out everyone knows my brother, but these people knew him enthusiastically. One of them used to be his flatmate, who I remember meeting briefly. He gave me skittles to cheer me up because I'd been dumped that morning. His friend was far far more excited about meeting Will's sister though because she thought he was amazing and by extension, I am amazing too and we were super best friends.

Super duper best friends

   Though he's not a role model in many regards, I can't ever hope to be as sociable or respected as William, it was pretty cool hearing people go on (and on) about how he is amazing and has done so much for them. Also I like skittles.

   Anyway, gaining more of a family has been fantastic and I'm in a pretty good mood as a result.

   Y'all should give your mums a hug from Bellez.

Positive Lists

   When I was thirteen, I hated the school I went to, so my parents decided to send me to boarding school. It turns out I didn't like that much either.Within about five minutes of my parents leaving me at the hostel there, I'd already started scoping out some escape routes even though I was in an unfamiliar town where I knew nobody. I was a damn determined schoolgirl and no one was going to keep me hostage in a hostel!

   Except I never had the guts to run away that night.

   Anyway, to put me in a better state of mind and to distract me from my constant plotting of escape plans, one of the matrons at the hostel suggested I make a list of all the positive things in my life. Back then, they were a bit boring. Here's an example:

1. When we have banoffee pie for dessert.
   To be fair, I had a friend there who was allergic to bananas, so I'd always get her share.

27. Making positive lists.
   I was clearly running out of ideas by this stage.

28. Running away.
   This kind of defeated the purpose.


   Six years later, I thought it was an appropriate time to write an updated version.

1. Banoffee pie, still. It is delicious.

2. The Adam Lambert song, "Sleepwalker." Firstly because he's more fabulous than you'll ever be. Secondly because I love singing the chorus very loudly and changing the lyrics somewhat.

And he's still more fabulous than you.

3. Moustaches.

4. Bitching about ugly dresses!

5. Bitching in general. I'm a terrible person.

6. MS Paint pictures. (I know, I know, it's been a while.) Here's a hipster girl who had her hands amputated.

Hands are hard to draw, plus it cut off a bit at her legs. Let's say she has a boyfriend with an amputation fetish.

7. Browsing Reddit in my underwear, because it's basically internet crack.

8. Having sufficient heating to allow me to browse Reddit in my underwear despite the fact that I live in the south island and it is winter. I WILL SURVIVE.

9. SO MANY RATS!

10. Cheese

11. This baby sugar glider.

12. Fairylights

They are in this photo (at the top.) Also my new purchases mean my rat boys are no longer allowed on my bed, so they do not see this as a positive at all.

13. Mr Bearington and the Xtreme Coffee and Travel Mug set

14. The use of Xtreme to describe anything even though its not the nineties anymore and we don't need mountain bikes and surfboards and sunglasses to make us want to buy soft drinks.

15. I once had an "xtreme bible" which was in fluorescent colours to appeal to the youth. It looked pretty on my bookshelf.

16. Whiskey.

17. Getting new warm socks. I did a shopping trip recently, and socks and fairylights were the things I was most excited about getting. My tootsies are so warm and cozy during this southern winter, I'm stoked!

 18. The fact that Scott and his sister and I have recorded part one of our dramatic reading of My Immortal. Just waiting for it to be sent to me and I am yet to figure out how to put it on here but it will happen!


   I think eighteen items makes a pretty legit positive list. Good job Bellez, you have every reason to be happy.

Post 100!

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Updates, plus upcoming: Post #100!

   Holy wow, readers. I've just realised that we're almost at an important milestone in the life of Probably Not Sane. This is post #97. That means we're almost at post #100. And I feel I ought to do something special. But I'm not quite sure what. I originally thought of linking to all the more quality posts I've created in the last year and a half, but then I figured, that's shit. Why would I do that to you guys? That's not even new content or anything. I needed some better ideas.

   I then outsourced idea-production to my friends, because I was all but ready to give up. This is an appropriate time for some Facebook self promotion.

   Yes, there is a page on Facebook for Probably Not Sane that you can like, if you so desire. 19 people have liked it already. Here's the link.

   If you prefer your Probably Not Sane on Facebook experiences to be more interactive, I also have a group, Fans of Probably Not Sane. It's a public group, so if you want to contribute, all you have to do is request to join, and I promise I'll let you, unless you are actively stalking me and planning to murder me. Even then I will probably accept you anyway.

   The reason I am bringing this up is because I want the readers to have a say in what I do for such momentous occasions for this. Thus far I have had the following suggestions:

• An audio recording of a dramatic reading of My Immortal. (I'm already planning to do this, but would prefer to do it with friends, notably Scott and Dom, to have a greater variety of voices for the different "characters." Rest assured this will most likely happen, but not by post #100. Seriously, that fanfic is nearly fifty chapters long.)
• A guest post. I briefly considered this, possibly getting Dom onboard, because I think he's probably a better writer than I am. I've since changed my mind on the idea of a guest post for this, but I still would like a contribution. Also, remember last guest post, when Gareth wrote about weird porn? Yeah, I'm a little cautious about doing that again. He didn't even provide any links, and I wasn't too keen to go hunting for them myself.
• Something awesome. Well, that's kinda the point, but thanks. :)

   Also, as you may have noticed from the Facebook pages, Probably Not Sane has a new temporary logo, consisting mostly of some of my favourite pictures I've had on this blog. I'd like to incorporate it somewhere on this page, but the background is already a mess and I want to change that first. I have a lot of improvements I want to make to this blog, so hopefully you should see all that change soon. Also, the logo was done in a rush. I might make an improved version. I probably should, I mean look at this.

I feel like I used to do a better job with MS Paint :/

   Anyway, I've got just a few more pieces of news for you.

1. I've got a big trip coming up. I'm going to Dunedin in the next week or so because my brother's down from Auckland and I really want to see him again. After that I'm heading to Christchurch, then Nelson for a cousin's wedding, then back down south via the west coast. Hopefully some adventures will happen so I'll have more material for my blog.

2. I think I promised a possible ongoing fiction series to be added to here. I'll admit, I'm kinda working on that, but the main story I'm writing at the moment is vaguely based on William's life, and I won't even let him read it yet, and I happen to know he stalks my blog. (Hey William, nice to see you again, and oh, I'm baking you some brownies right now. Hopefully this time I get them to you before my mum gets into them again. Love you.) Also, by based on William's life, I mean very, very loosely based. I don't want people to read it and get all offended or anything. I've mostly just made shit up. So yeah, I'm going to need to start on a new story if I am to upload it to here. But what do you guys think about the possibility of an ongoing fiction series?

   Anyway, I'm sorry this was more informative than entertaining, but if you'll excuse me, I'm going to record part one of my dramatic reading of My Immortal.


   Leave a comment or contact me through the pages listed above if you have any feedback/criticism/ideas. I really want to make this awesome for you all. Thanks to everyone who's stuck by me for the past 97 posts. I'm so grateful.

2011 Overview

   First of all, I'm very sorry I haven't blogged in ages. I do remember I was meant to do a Christmas special for you all, about a traumatic childhood incident which involved a Christmas decoration which unintentionally resembled an attempted suicide, but then I had to cook for my family and I spent a majority of the time putting the "merry" into Merry Christmas, so it did not eventuate.

   I also wanted to do a thing at the end of every year to sum up the events of the previous year, but then I got distracted by a new year's eve party. Here's a picture of me looking pretty in a dress beforehand to make up for the delayed content.

Actually it's me and Hannah, because here at Probably not Sane we like to give the reader value for money. Except for the money bit. I'm a bit broke at the moment.

 
   Anyway, delayed or not, here's my overview for the events of 2011.

• We occupied and protested everything.

 
   This started with the revolutions throughout the middle east and is currently ongoing with the Occupy movement, which is protesting against corporate greed. Although it started as Occupy Wall Street, it has since spread globally, as far south as Occupy the Octogon in Dunedin. It has led to a cringeworthy amount of jokes using the phrases "occupy"- ("Hey babe, can you occupy the kitchen and make me a sandwich?") "1%" and "99%", but it has also changed people's attitudes and opinions around these issues. I don't think that this was just a 2011 fad that will lose popularity this year. The movement is strong, has a lot of support, and there are a lot of people willing to continue protesting. As an aside, here's a lovely picture of some cool people I met at Occupy Auckland. We temporarily acquired a rat from them.

• The bad guy is killed and a prince marries a commoner, temporarily turning the world into a Disney movie.

   Almost ten years after the 9/11 terrorist attacks, Osama Bin Laden was finally found and killed this year. Well, unless you listen to the conspiracy theorists, but that's something else together. In other news, the royal wedding was, if the hype was to be believed, the event of the year. Certainly the tabloids had a field day. I admit, I wasn't going to watch it live, but Jordan was staying at mine that night and asked if we could. We spent a majority of the evening checking out Pippa Middleton's very lovely backside, as did the rest of the world, apparently.

• Natural disasters

   There was the devasting Japanese earthquake and subsequent tsunami and, a little closer to home, Christchurch, already damaged  from the September 2010 quakes, was hit again in February, this time sadly taking lives. Aftershocks are ongoing, including a particularly bad one just before Christmas.

• In more positive news...

   We won the Rugby World Cup again, at last, which was something of a relief as Pharmac would probably not be able to fund enough antidepressants for the entire country had we lost the final to France. In contrast to this, the fact that we hosted the event put New Zealand into party mood, and people were even celebrating and happy in Dunedin, of all places.

This photo could  be biased journalism, however, as although he is happy, he clearly isn't even from Dunedin, but is in fact from Argentina.

• Bellez learnt that it is hard to sustain a quality blog and have an active social life.

   Which may explain some of my more mediocre and/or downright appalling (see: Christmas in October) posts this year. On the other hand I wrote some posts that I am extremely proud of, so there is also that.

• The Foo Fighters played an absolutely amazing show in Auckland this year.

   Actually, they played two shows, and if the second one, which I attended, in the rain nonetheless, was anything to go by, the first was pretty badass too. The crowd was huge- around 50 000 people, which Dom thought looked pretty cool from where we were sitting on a muddy slope. (Having paid for myself, Dom and William, I could sadly only afford the cheaper tickets. But it was so worth it that I didn't care.) The show was probably one of the best concerts I'm likely to ever go to, and the next day in town I bumped into the drummer, Taylor Hawkins, while crossing a street, which is the most fangirl moment I've ever had. Here's a photo Dom tried to take of the crowd and the stage, but by then it was so dark you can't see very much. 

• I finally got back in contact with my brother.

   After about two and a half years, I finally heard from my older brother William, and I spent a lot of time this year staying with him in Dunedin until he moved to Auckland in late September- though I made sure I spent plenty of time with him again when I went up in December. If I could pick a predominant memory of 2011, it would probably have to be bussing between Queenstown and Dunedin because it feels like I pretty much did that all year. I am so grateful to be back in contact with him and I think its cool that we can talk and get along well even after so long. My brother is the shiz.

   Anyway, that's how 2011 panned out for me, and again I apologise for the delay, but here's to happy blogging in 2012.

Probably not Sane would like to wish you a happy and prosperous New Year, despite the fact that the economy's fucked and so are we.

Doris is still a babe, also: Nirvana Party

   The last time I wrote about Doris was here, in which I was reassured about the "youth of today."

   Doris is still a babe.

   So maybe a week or so, I had my last exam, which was Drama, which is probably the wordiest, hardest, most difficult exam there is. Seriously. I've never written so much about Post-War American Realist Theatre in my life. (And that was pretty much the only thing we studied this year.) As per exam rules, we had to leave our bags outside the examination room.

This, naturally, was my bag.

   Apparently some kid saw the Nirvana bag and thought it was the coolest thing ever (it basically is) and took a whole lot of photos of it. Because that's not creepy or stalkerish at all.

   While we're on the subject of creepy...

Not super duper creepy, more just odd

   Which got us talking about Nirvana and that we both really, really love Nirvana, and dammit, let's just have a Nirvana party.

   We did. She turned up in her (homemade) Nirvana shirt with a couple of DVDs and Kurt Cobain's journals. I had a good three albums on my iPod which was my contribution. We literally sat there and flicked through the book, trying to make sense of a lot of it. Heroin's a helluva drug.

   Having a flick through, there are some bits that are awesome (his comic for Mr Moustache, in which an unborn child kicks their sexist, macho father) and some bits that make very little sense and some bits that made us giggle ("punctuation yeah I was stoned alot when learning that stuff") some bits were insightful (for example, where he explains how he first got into heroin) and some bits were magical, watching something I was so familiar with unfold and develop before my very eyes. (As much as Kurt was on the record of saying "Smells Like Teen Spirit" did not deserve as much of the attention and adulation that it did, seeing the constant reworking of the lyrics, the imagery that he was putting into it that just gets mentioned so many times throughout the journals, really showed the amount of thought and care he was capable of putting into his work.)

   I don't want to put any pictures from the book in here as that may be against copyright laws (I'm not sure/Doris has me scared of Courtney Love) but if you're a fan of the music, it's definitely worth having a look at if you ever get the chance.

   Sorry this has ended up being something of a book review. If it makes you feel any better, this isn't a typical book at all (at one point he's scribbled notes for a driving test. Just sayin'.)

AWWW YEAHHH

   So guess what. I'm going to Auckland next month!

   What with living in a small town in the south of the south island and all, this is cause for celebration enough. But guess what else?

   I'm going to go see Dom and William!

Dom is this babe right here, in case you're wondering.

   As exciting as it is to see William and the next winner of New Zealand's Next Top Model (Male Edition), that is not what I'm showing off about here. (Though I totally should.)

   No kiddies. This is what I'm showing off about here.

I've got three of these sexy, sexy tickets.

   Keep in mind that I am entirely entitled to show off here. I've been wanting to see the Foo Fighters since I was twelve years old. I've got childhood dreams to fulfill. And I'm also very, very excited. Also, David's super-duper jealous at the moment. I'll buy him a t shirt or something. If they're not too pricey. Because I'm a financially responsible sister.

   Anyway, there'll probably be another blog post when I come back from Auckland (sooooo 16th December) about all my adventures there. Because dammit, it's always adventures with me.

FUN TIMES.

:DDDDD

In other news, I've finished all my exams and probably just scraped through with university entrance. It's been a long year.

New Hyperbole and a Half!

   I will admit, I haven't been checking Hyperbole and a Half for ages because it's been so long since the last post, and even I can be a bad blogger, and the longer I put off updating, the harder it gets, which is why I ended up with shitty blog posts about whores, tinsel fetishes, and Christmas in October.

   However, I decided to go back for one last nostalgic look at H&H to re-read about Kenny Loggins (a personal favourite post of mine) when, lo and behold:

   THERE IS A NEW POST AT HYPERBOLE AND A HALF!

   And it's rather eloquent. Pictures are excellent, too.

   Anyway, this is rather how I've been feeling for the past couple of months, so it gives me hope that eventually I can get through it and even, maybe, touch a spider.

   Time to draw a spider, I think.

I've named him William and given him a sophisticated top hat. YOU'RE WELCOME.

Christmas in October

   I was in The Warehouse the other day with my mother because she wanted to buy herself a new kettle (“There’s something wrong with the old one, it makes a noise when it boils!”) and I’d been dragged along to assist in the kettle selection process. Eventually, she decided none at The Warehouse were up to her standards, and I found her later outside Smiths City with a shiny new kettle that promised to make “minimal noise” (I’ll be honest, there is a difference, but only slightly) and my mother looking very pleased with her purchase.

   However, minimal-noise kettles is not my point.

   While we were browsing the aisles of The Warehouse, I noticed that, although Halloween hasn’t even occurred yet, (leaving you some time to arrange your slutty costume) Christmas decorations were up already. It isn’t even November yet. Excellent.

   Personally, I believe tinsel should be available for purchase year-round. How else are you going to go to a Halloween party as anything that allows you to indulge in a glitter/sparkle fetish? (Ke$ha notwithstanding.)

The sex symbol of our generation. Also, the glitter on her chest could  be to cover up breast herpes: because breast herpes isn't a phase. It's for life.

   Here are some home decorating ideas using tinsel and Christmas decorations, to prepare you for Christmas in October.

• Keep your ho's at the table 

   First of all, I cringe at the sight of an apostrophe to denote a plural. I know it's wrong. But I can't seem to find anything here that looks right. The OCD in me wants to apologise for that. Anyway.

   Christmas is a time of celebration, and Christmas in October is a little odd, so why not celebrate Christmas in October in an odd way? With prostitutes, that’s how. First consult with the law to see if this is legal in your area because, ya know. Legal safety first. Then, take out a large bank loan, because these will cost money, and I’m ethical enough to believe you should pay them fairly. Next, follow the instructions on the link to create this charming table decoration, and treat all your purchases to a delicious Christmas dinner. In October.

• Organise your Christmas recipes

   If you're going to cook Christmas dinner for all your special guests this October, you want to keep things as easy and stress free as possible. Why not make a recipe card holder? And if you want a unique twist to dessert for your Christmas in October, you could try these recipes.

• Christmas pillow cases

   After treating your “guests” to Christmas dinner in October, you may want to actually get the service you paid for and go to the bedroom. But alas, no Christmas-themed décor there! Never fear, here’s a link to instructions for Christmas pillow cases. Good luck, have fun, and use protection. (It’s an industry standard.)

   I apologise that this post has, yet again, fallen into debauchery and prostitution. It seems to be an unintentional ongoing theme on this blog. But really, if we’re going to talk about Ke$ha, breast herpes, and Christmas-in-October, I can’t really see this going any other direction.

Rugby World Cup 2011

WE WON. FUCK YEAH!

Good job, All Blacks.

That is all.

Why Disney's The Lion King is the Greatest Movie Ever

   Look, I grew up on this stuff since before I can remember. Actually I can remember some things about when I first saw Lion King. I was rather young, so I cannot accurately recall what I thought of the plot, the characterisation or the fact that the actor who voices Mufasa is so perfectly cast that if anyone else had done so, I may have not even liked the movie at all (and I love Lion King) but I do remember the day I first went to see it in the cinema. Because that’s how you saw movies back in the day before you just downloaded them off the internet and watched them when you were bored.

   I went to the movie with a girl called Lasmai, who was my best friend at the time. I remember we had a popcorn fight throughout the entire advertisement section at the beginning and getting severely reprimanded by my mother. Or her mother. Or whoever’s mother was burdened with the task of looking after us while we were at the movies. I remember little else except thinking the songs were cool, and crying once (oh no, spoiler alert!) Mufasa died in the stampede. I can’t think of a single child that does not cry during that scene. I can think of a few adults who still cry when they watch that bit. (Well, William and I do. But it’s so sad.)

I'm not even taking the piss now. I still cry in that scene. He just lost his dad, fuck you Scar!

    From that moment on in my young life, I was obsessed with lions. They were my favourite animal ever, the first exhibit I had to go see when I went to the zoo, I could recite a million and one facts about lions, and for my seventh birthday, I remember one girl giving me a present wrapped in lion wrapping paper, and I cannot even remember what she gave me, I just remember the lions.

   At the same time, I developed an obsession with all things Lion King. Our neighbours had the soundtrack on cassette tape (yes, cassette tape) and we made a copy of it. Every single car trip as a child, we were damn well listening to The Lion King, when my mum took me to the video store to hire a movie, we were hiring The Lion King, whenever I played with my toys we were re-enacting the opening scene where Rafiki is presenting the young cub Simba to the kingdom. I played Rafiki, if you want to know.

   My parents even ordered a custom-made Lion King book, with my name printed in it, for Christmas one year. I was stoked.

   While I was belting out more Elton John hits than a gay Idol-contestant, I still refused to watch that one scene where Mufasa dies. I would run out of the room and yell at my mum to come and get me once the hyenas come back in to chase Simba away from the pridelands. She called me silly every time, but I still couldn’t watch it without crying. Poor Simba, all alone in the world, having to leave behind his family even though he was still so young.

   Yeah, I can see a link between The Lion King and adoption. Perhaps that is why it affected me so profoundly from such a young age. It actually came up the other weekend when I was staying at my brother’s.
   We were watching The Lion King 1.5 which is pretty much the same thing as the first one, but from Timon and Pumbaa’s point of view. (Hey, why not milk the cash cow, the original is still a quality movie.) When Simba comes to them, there’s a particular line of Timon’s:

It does sound rather daunting.

   Then suddenly, William and I had a moment of revelation- Timon and Pumbaa are gay! Our other small discovery was that Simba was pretty much adopted by them. This is actually pretty cute. I didn’t pay much attention to the rest of Lion King 1.5 as William and I were too busy making adoption jokes to pay much notice.


   PS- Just so you know- I get to make adoption jokes. It’s one of the few advantages that come with being adopted.

William is the Shiz

   I may have written about William a few times on here. Like the time he was saved by a multi-coloured elephant. But there was very little to write about when I hadn’t seen him in years.


   This changed recently.

   Let’s thank the cheap wine at the afterparty. I forget what we ended up drunk texting about (I do remember, I’d just rather not explain in excruciating detail. It may have been about a guy. He may have encouraged me to flirt with said guy. I was barely forming a coherent sentence by then though, thankfully) but at some stage, he suggested I come to see him sometime.

   A week later and I was on a bus to Dunedin.

   Look, I’m fucking stoked, ok? I’ve idolised my brother since I was old enough to figure out who he was (adoption tends to cloud the issue somewhat) and I’ve resented him for the past few years for his lack of contact with me. Didn’t make me idolise him any less, of course. It just upset me, was all.

   He hadn’t changed much. I lie. He’s a considerably more functional (and hygienic) person now. Multiple jobs tend to force you to be so. He’s still wonderfully sarcastic and somewhat opinionated, though. It reassured me.

   I know that anything I write on here is never going to do it justice, the way it felt finally seeing him again. A year ago I would have given up anything, literally anything, to see him again. The thing is, adoption leaves you with a few after effects, one of which being a fear of abandonment by family members. You rationalise that it is entirely possible that they could just never see you again, because… well. You feel abandoned. You start to think of all the ways things could have been different, and that if only you were good enough, then you would have deserved a family, and they’d welcome you back with open arms.

   I got past the fear of abandonment phase by replacing this fear with stoic acceptance that I was probably never going to see William again, and to prepare myself for a life without an older brother. It was bearable at first. I lie. I was horribly hurt by that acceptance. I’m glad David started talking to me, that helped me cope, a little. I’ve hinted somewhat at William about how hurt I was by the ordeal, but now we’re talking again, I don’t need to explain anything. He gets it. Besides, I think he had his own stuff to deal with.

   I clearly remember around October last year, Ellie and I celebrated the end of school (just before exams) by going on a road trip to Dunedin, and seeing my brother David. We were casually walking through town together at night when I saw what I knew was William, walking in the opposite direction on the other side of the street. I asked David if it was him- to be fair, I hadn’t seen him in a couple of years, and David said he didn’t know. (David wears glasses. I don’t know if he’d appreciate me mentioning that on my blog, but as far as embarrassing stories go, there are worse ones I could tell, so he ought to be grateful!) I had every intention of yelling out to the man on the other side of the street- I know it was him- but then the “acceptance he will never talk to me again” kicked in and silenced me. I knew it was him, but I figured he wouldn’t want his little sister embarrassing him like that.

   For months afterward I hated myself for not talking to him that night.

   Recently we’ve been communicating via Facebook. Well. He commented on a few wall posts and statuses of mine, but look, after two years and me being all prepared to never hear from him again, that’s practically full-blown conversation. Anyway, I drunk texted him at some ridiculous hour before burning some pasta, and spent the weekend at his a week later.

   I had a fabulous time by the way. We watched The Lion King and The Lion King 1.5 (basically the same thing but from Timon and Pumbaa’s point of view) and caught up on what we’d missed over the past couple of years. It was awesome.

   As an aside, I know one of my friends from Summer Gathering, Rachel, has been dealing with her own similar issues with a foster brother. Just to let you know Rachel, don’t accept that you’ll never see him again, even if it’s been years. Anything, as I have learned, is possible in time.

Rachel is freaking awesome

My adoption buddy and fellow mural painter (she's the "healthily obssessed with Michael Jackson" one) has decided to do the right thing and follow my blog because, let's face it, she's obviously a bit of a smart cookie there. As such, I would like to point out that she is freaking amazing and deserves some kind of MS Paint picture or something, which I will get onto asap.

I'm actually starting to get the hang of this using Paint on a laptop thing, mostly out of necessity. You see, I've written a very exciting article for an upcoming issue of The Leaky Biro and, without giving too much away, it may be entitled The Cynic's Guide to Horoscopes and of course it required a picture for each of the twelve signs of the zodiac. Thus it has given me a lot of practice so you can expect to see more pretty pictures in future blog posts. Yay!

Anyway Rachel, for making such a wonderful decision, I would like to tell you and the rest of my readers that you are rather sweetbix and I love you in a matey way, not a mating way. Pretty pictures coming soon!

"Vegetarian Camp"

   So just over a week ago, I heard from FS (Friendly Stranger from the previous post) who informed me that his couch surfing journeys had taken him to Dunedin, where he was due to attend a gathering. He then sent me a link to their website, and contemplated asking me to join him there. Unfortunately for him, I'd already decided to attend Summer Gathering, based on approximately two minutes of reading their website, so whether he liked it or not, I would be there.

"Muuuuuum! Mum, can I go to this thing that FS has invited me to?"
"Isn't he the one who took us to the Topp Twins?"
"Yes. That one."
"Ooooh I liked him, he took us to the Topp Twins. Where is it?"
"Dunedin."
"Oh, pass the phone here, I'll just get you a bus ticket."

   My mum can be rather easily won over. I blame the nice shirt FS was wearing the night he met her. That was forward thinking on his part.

   Feeling more free than fruit from the bin, I informed him that I would see him there, realised it started in only a couple of days, and hastily started packing and arranging to meet people in Dunedin. (Namely David.) Decided I ought to let boyfriend know too, considering he generally comes to see me almost every day.

   Informing boyfriend proved to be something of a mistake.

   It was the fact that all the meals were to be vegetarian that started him off. He (for some bizarre reason) found this hilarious.
"You're going to vegetarian camp!" he declared. I sighed and took another bite of the chicken I had roasted. As explained in the previous post, being a vegetarian in the south of the south island isn't always easy. People always call you a bit of a funny burger. Also. Meat is delicious. This may explain why boyfriend found it so funny. Ugh, carnivores.

   Despite his teasing, I was still keen to go, and gladly skipped onto the bus in the morning with my six bags (half of which were bedding, because I am a notoriously bad traveller) and little sleep. I fell asleep in the bus and missed a food stop in Roxburgh, which was gutting because I assumed it was the last time in a week or so I'd be able to enjoy meat. Unless I'd just had a Jimmy's Pie. Mmmmm, a whole golf ball of fat. How nutritious.

   I arrived in Dunedin, was hug-raped by my friend Stevie, who looks like a duck, and we sat and waited for David and his girlfriend, Anita to turn up. Then we all headed into town and Anita and I sat and stole David's lollies and giggled as David and Stevie played a game of chess. Yes. Chess.

   Had a lovely time with them, eventually made it to the Steiner school where the gathering was being held and said goodbye to them.

   Bam. Massive atmosphere change. I'd gone from laughing and singing and yelling out car windows with Stevie the duck and co, to this incredibly quiet, peaceful place at the gathering. FS introduced me to a few people there, and I set up my bed, with the wonderful smells of vegetarian pizza permeating my nostrils. I was starting to enjoy this whole situation.

   Look. Let's just clarify. The food over the whole course of the gathering was freaking wonderful. It really was. I barely missed meat at all, until the second-to-last night when I had a dream involving beautiful, delicious steak. But when there are twenty or so people and meals with a high bean content... It's not the best aroma. Oh god. I just made a flatulence reference on my precious blog. Oh dear.

   We participated in many wonderful activities. One of these was a treasure hunt, created by myself, Rene, and FS, but mostly FS, because he's probably the more intelligent one. Oh, and it was his idea. It was an epic adventure about Blackbean the Pirate, who was on the run from Captain Rene the Red, who he had stolen treasure from. The treasure being delicious Black Bean Brownie. Anyway, with all these B's and R's, naturally, the treasure hunt ended with a team challenge, to provide a raving rendition of the Queen classic, Bohemian Rhapsody. I do believe FS was the only person to truly get into it. Air guitar for the win.

   Within only a few days, a really open, caring community was created at this gathering. I can put this down to the fact that everyone there was awesome. Seriously, there was no one there I was able to dislike for any reason at all, and it was lovely.

   In fact, it prompted a small of us to attempt a "cultural experiment" when asked to create a cultural experience for the rest of the group there. We decided to contrast the lovely culture we had at gathering with the culture we would experience outside of gathering. We started at lunch time, sitting individually away from everyone else and just being quite rude and antisocial- in a subtle way. Afterwards, people pointed out the difference. It really showed what a positive atmosphere there was there- and how easily that could be spoiled with elements of negativity. It was fascinating.

   One evening, David came to join us, as he only lives a couple of streets away from the school. He joined in with a game we were playing, which was basically a confused game of charades, in which, during the first round we had to describe the character, then in the second round make a noise to represent the character (which was somewhat impossible) and then a gesture. FS was, naturally, fantastic.

   Near the end of the gathering, a very small group of us went to paint murals by the new stadium. In the pouring rain I might add. Good ol' sunny Dunedin rolling out the good weather for us as ever. Our "summer gathering" had mostly occurred indoors, due to the lack of summer. However, we eventually completed our two murals. Because David goes past the new stadium on a regular basis, I included a painting of Rainbow Boots herself, with a little speech bubble reading "Hi Cookie" because that's all I could fit in it. One girl with us, Rachel, who is rather (healthily) obsessed with Michael Jackson painted one of his quotes beneath my Rainbow Boots hero. The sun even came out temporarily.

   On the way back, we called in to see my birthfather rather briefly as a lovely end to my time in Dunedin. It was, as ever, fantastic to see him again.

   Liz stopped in Roxburgh to buy me a Jimmy's Pie so I could get my meat fix. It was disgusting. I filled up on fresh orchard fruit on the rest of the car trip. Much nicer.

  We also stopped at a strange shop in Alexandra, where I purchased two cans of coloured hairspray, a giant candle and a canvas print of Michael Jackson (Rachel would be proud of me!) all for $23. Amazing.

I've had a lovely time in Dunedin, and boyfriend can laugh at me all he wants.

By the way, sorry about the lack of pretty pictures. I'll put some up later.

Pretty pictures time!

Rene the Red and Blackbean's Pirate Treasure Hunt

The treash-ARR map

She's a Flower, a poem I wrote there

My beautiful Michael picture.

Welcome to the Cool Club, Ray

I was so excited to discover I had a twelth (twelfth? 12th, at least) follower, at about 12:30 am. Cool beans. Sweetbix. Etc. So now lets all congratulate Ray on his sensible decision, and reward him with the honour of being immortalised in MS Paint for all the internet to see. Thanks Ray. :)

Look at that pretty hair.

Stargazing, Rock Hugging, Funny Burgers and Yodelling Lesbians- 2011 Thus Far

   Well. 2011 has been… interesting thus far.


   I spent new years eve walking down the hill I live on to get into town where I was meeting my boyfriend. (Fine, I was going to go watch the fireworks too.) I wasn’t too keen about walking, because it was dark, and I was getting paranoid about rapists and murderers. While avoiding being raped/murdered, I bumped into another group of people walking into town.

   “You aren’t rapists or murderers are you?” I asked.

   “We’re the group hoping to be raped and murdered. If you’re trying to avoid that, you should probably join the group further down the hill. They’re the anti rape and murder group.”

   How reassuring.

   However, I began talking to one particular member of the group how assured me that he was not a rapist, to his knowledge, and at any rate, he and I made it safely into town with neither of us being raped and/or murdered. That’s always a good start to a night.

   We spent a majority of the time before midnight looking for boyfriend, who took his time getting there, and trying to avoid heavily intoxicated Gorons. (for those unfamiliar with the term, it refers to certain people from Gore, who may not be quite as intelligent as the rest of us.) Having been drunkenly groped by one of them, we ran off to the gardens where we could safely presume they weren’t, and found a boulder. Which we then proceeded to hug. Because rocks need love too.

As do trees. And yes, I just wanted to use this picture, because I am proud of it.

   It was nearly midnight when I heard from boyfriend, and we were running around town (which was, of course, packed) trying to find him. Somewhere, at some point, I managed to lose my phone, which lead to something of a panic attack, and I nearly missed the fireworks trying to find him. (It’s rather hopeless without a phone.) The fireworks were over, boyfriend was not in sight, I was clinging on to the arm of this poor stranger to try to prevent losing him like I had my phone, and to top it all off, a bunch of intoxicated Gorons were heading in our direction. We decided to head back to the last place boyfriend had said to meet him, and on the way, although town was still packed, we miraculously found him.

 
   Heck yes I’m amazing.
   We then wandered around town, did some stargazing, found a man passed out at the bottom of my hill, tried to rescue him (and failed, he ended up spending a night in the cells most likely) and realised that it was actually freezing by now (thank goodness I had brought socks. But they wouldn’t fit under my skinny jeans, so I had to wear them over them. Hot.) and decided to part ways with our wonderful stranger (although agreeing to meet up the next day.)
   Went to the police station the next day in the hope that some kind person had handed my phone in. They hadn’t. I blame the Gorons. There were about four other people there at the same time who’d also lost their phones. At least they can blame being drunk. I had a sober new years.

   Also heard from FS (Friendly Stranger) on New Years day, and he informed me that he was going to go the Topp Twins with his mother. I informed him that my mother would be jealous, and so he invited us to join him.
   Again, for those unfamiliar, the Topp Twins… well. I had to explain them to an overseas friend of mine. “Uh, they’re like these older, yodelling, lesbian twins, and they’re part comedians, part singers, and they’re rather iconic in New Zealand. Or, as the twins themselves put it: “When we’re overseas, we tell everyone that everyone back home is just like us!” Search them on youtube, my explanations couldn’t begin to do these fine ladies justice.
   On the fourth of January, I walked to Frankton and back to buy a new phone. That was another epic adventure of mine this year, because that stuff takes forever. But I am proud of myself. Besides, I got a rather good deal on the phone.
   So, I found myself, new phone in hand, on my way to a winery to see some yodelling lesbians with FS, his mother, and my mother. Brilliant.
   My mother ditched me for most of the evening, because that appears to just be the way she is, and FS and I went off in search of food.
   I myself am not a vegetarian. Yes, I love animals. But I also find meat to be rather tasty. FS on the other hand… well. He’s a much better person than I. Thus we found ourselves at a burger stall, to see if we could find a veggie burger. We couldn’t, really. The lady selling burgers was rather amused, in fact. “Oh look, we’ve got a vegetarian!”
“Could you just leave out the meat pattie, perhaps?”
“We’ve got fish. Do you people eat fish?”

   It turns out vegetarians generally do not eat fish, as they don’t tend to grow on trees.
   “No, just vegetables please.”

   The lady then turned to glare at me. “I suppose you want a veggie burger too, do you?” I must admit, I was somewhat intimidated.
   “No thanks, I’ve just eaten."
   “Alright. I’ll put that down as a funny burger.” She insisted.

   Not even a veggie burger. FS got a “funny burger”. Welcome to the South Island.

   Funny burgers aside, the concert was rather enjoyable, even if FS’s mother kept trying to give me wine. I’m rather sure the best part was when she informed me that FS had told her that meeting boyfriend and I had been the highlight of his time in Queenstown. He got rather embarrassed and denied it, but ha. I bet she was right.

   And that is the rather condensed version of my current adventures in 2011.

Pictures!

Here are some pretty pictures. Consider them a late Christmas present. Also, the "o" key on my keyboard keeps sticking, so it is an appropriate time for a picture post.

2010

As today is the last day of 2010, its time to write an absurdly nostalgic overview of the past year...


• Homeless Friends = Best Friends

Me and Homeless Lee at the Bear Hands Wall- "We built this wall with our bare hands- our bear hands!"

In January, I befriended two freedom campers (I use the term "freedom campers" extremely loosely here, as they were basically backpackers who ran out of money after they spent it all on booze) from England (well, where else could it be but England!) named Matt and Lee. By the end of February, when they left, I was broke. Coincidence? I think not.

• All Scottish Men Are Named Euan

 Because I met three Euans-from-Scotland in the space of around two days, bringing me to the conclusion that in Scotland, it must be illegal to name your son anything but Euan. They did have lovely accents though.

• Making Love(ly Music)



Life is always cheerful when you're Rainbow Boots...

 Yes, I invented Rainbow Boots last year, but this year she got her very own cartoon, Making Love(ly Music), of which the first few cartoons are up here. I must put some more up in the new year.

• Sick Cookies Make Cool Brothers



My brother is awesome, basically.


My little brother David just started talking to me this year, which automatically makes him cool, if you haven't yet figured that out. He even got his own character in Making Love(ly Music) called The Sick Cookie. Because he is disgusting.

• I Managed To Remain Single For Nearly All of 2010

This is less of an achievement and more of a fact. I remained single nearly all year, until on Christmas Eve I got a boyfriend for an early Christmas present, basically. He is lovely. That is all I need to say.

• I Started A Blog

Mostly after being inspired by Allie Brosh of Hyperbole and a Half, who I am pretty much madly in love with. Her blog is a lot better than mine though.

• I (Legally, At Least) Became An Adult

I turned 18 this year, which is quite exciting, although it (as yet) hasn't impacted my life all that much because I don't really like going out all that often, and I haven't voted yet, and all that seems to have happened is that everything costs more now and I have to pay bank fees which is a bitch. Still. I feel old. I've almost learnt how to drink responsibly now too.

In other news...

• Nobody really likes BP anymore after a massive oil spill that made greenies of us all. Conveniently, we were learning about environmentalism in French class, and so learnt all sorts of exciting rude things to call BP.

• We discovered that a majority of New Zealanders are actually racists, sexists, and just generally not very tolerant people after Paul Henry got in trouble for making racist comments about the Governor General and his apparent lack of New Zealand-ness, as well as making fun of Sheila Dikshit's name (oh, GROW UP. Yes, I know it sounds like dick shit. Lets now move on please) and had already got a bit of a telling off for commenting on the facial hair of a woman he interviewed. Many New Zealanders rushed to Henry's defence, claiming that he was "just saying what we're all thinking" which just goes to show how terrible we are as a nation. Good job New Zealand!

• Haiti's really not the place to be at the moment.

• The All Whites didn't fail spectacularly at the World Cup, and we had something to be proud of, telling everyone that our football team was "unbeaten." We didn't lose a single game. Or win one either. We just drew. Pretty good effort though, for a country that is apparently obsessed with rugby. Is in unpatriotic if I say I really could not care less about the All Blacks?

• There was an earthquake in Christchurch on the same day as my 18th birthday, which was terrible, because it means my mother didn't realise I was an adult until about midday. No one was directly killed by the earthquake, and the Cantabrians coped with the situation remarkably well. I doubt the same could be said if it had occurred in Auckland.

• For those who have been living under a rock in the past few months, (pun not intended) some Chilean miners were rescued after being trapped underground. We hoped for a similar happy ending for the 29 men trapped in the Pike River Mine, but unfortunately it was not to be.

• Some royals (ok, William and Kate) got engaged, and the world went crazy discussing Kate's "breeding" like she was a pedigree bulldog.