Positive Lists

   When I was thirteen, I hated the school I went to, so my parents decided to send me to boarding school. It turns out I didn't like that much either.Within about five minutes of my parents leaving me at the hostel there, I'd already started scoping out some escape routes even though I was in an unfamiliar town where I knew nobody. I was a damn determined schoolgirl and no one was going to keep me hostage in a hostel!

   Except I never had the guts to run away that night.

   Anyway, to put me in a better state of mind and to distract me from my constant plotting of escape plans, one of the matrons at the hostel suggested I make a list of all the positive things in my life. Back then, they were a bit boring. Here's an example:

1. When we have banoffee pie for dessert.
   To be fair, I had a friend there who was allergic to bananas, so I'd always get her share.

27. Making positive lists.
   I was clearly running out of ideas by this stage.

28. Running away.
   This kind of defeated the purpose.


   Six years later, I thought it was an appropriate time to write an updated version.

1. Banoffee pie, still. It is delicious.

2. The Adam Lambert song, "Sleepwalker." Firstly because he's more fabulous than you'll ever be. Secondly because I love singing the chorus very loudly and changing the lyrics somewhat.

And he's still more fabulous than you.

3. Moustaches.

4. Bitching about ugly dresses!

5. Bitching in general. I'm a terrible person.

6. MS Paint pictures. (I know, I know, it's been a while.) Here's a hipster girl who had her hands amputated.

Hands are hard to draw, plus it cut off a bit at her legs. Let's say she has a boyfriend with an amputation fetish.

7. Browsing Reddit in my underwear, because it's basically internet crack.

8. Having sufficient heating to allow me to browse Reddit in my underwear despite the fact that I live in the south island and it is winter. I WILL SURVIVE.

9. SO MANY RATS!

10. Cheese

11. This baby sugar glider.

12. Fairylights

They are in this photo (at the top.) Also my new purchases mean my rat boys are no longer allowed on my bed, so they do not see this as a positive at all.

13. Mr Bearington and the Xtreme Coffee and Travel Mug set

14. The use of Xtreme to describe anything even though its not the nineties anymore and we don't need mountain bikes and surfboards and sunglasses to make us want to buy soft drinks.

15. I once had an "xtreme bible" which was in fluorescent colours to appeal to the youth. It looked pretty on my bookshelf.

16. Whiskey.

17. Getting new warm socks. I did a shopping trip recently, and socks and fairylights were the things I was most excited about getting. My tootsies are so warm and cozy during this southern winter, I'm stoked!

 18. The fact that Scott and his sister and I have recorded part one of our dramatic reading of My Immortal. Just waiting for it to be sent to me and I am yet to figure out how to put it on here but it will happen!


   I think eighteen items makes a pretty legit positive list. Good job Bellez, you have every reason to be happy.

Instagram Quote Rebuttals

   Oh, come on, you know exactly what I'm talking about here.

More sarcastic responses here.

   What with my ability to speak fluent sarcasm and having recently discovered this site for editing photos, I decided to put off my epic blog post about my recent adventures in Auckland (although that's more because somebody managed to lose my camera when he was stupidly drunk and there's no point until I at least have photos) and just get creative instead.

   Unfortunately, due to MS Paint throwing a temper tantrum every time I try to insert text into my pictures, that's all for now folks. Sorry this has been such a non-post. My camera should be here in a few days.

Just Some Pretty Pictures

I've been uploading a few things to Paint Avant-Garde lately, mostly because I've been ill the past couple of days and it gives me something to do. I also thought I'd upload the pictures to here, because sharing is caring. Enjoy!

(PS- I promise there will be a proper new blog post soon.)

Rachel is freaking awesome

My adoption buddy and fellow mural painter (she's the "healthily obssessed with Michael Jackson" one) has decided to do the right thing and follow my blog because, let's face it, she's obviously a bit of a smart cookie there. As such, I would like to point out that she is freaking amazing and deserves some kind of MS Paint picture or something, which I will get onto asap.

I'm actually starting to get the hang of this using Paint on a laptop thing, mostly out of necessity. You see, I've written a very exciting article for an upcoming issue of The Leaky Biro and, without giving too much away, it may be entitled The Cynic's Guide to Horoscopes and of course it required a picture for each of the twelve signs of the zodiac. Thus it has given me a lot of practice so you can expect to see more pretty pictures in future blog posts. Yay!

Anyway Rachel, for making such a wonderful decision, I would like to tell you and the rest of my readers that you are rather sweetbix and I love you in a matey way, not a mating way. Pretty pictures coming soon!