Depression Part 2: Yes, I'm aware that I have hair, can we please talk about something else now

   So after that little breakup with Scott, I may have promised you a little series of "Adventures of a Single Girl" in which I would document all the wonderful fabulous things I was doing because I'm a strong independent woman who don't need no man because I'm too busy going off and doing my own thing all the time. And would you look at that, I haven't updated Adventures at all since that promise. Why is that?

DING DING DING DING DING. Your answer, "Bellez is a sad pathetic loser" is absolutely correct!  Your prize: this shitty drawing.

   And then I went and proved it to you by writing that little thing about how I'm miserable but I'm totally going to go get help and I was going to be optimistic about getting better despite the fact that I'm not entirely sure how to be optimistic. So it's time to update you: I "sought help."

   So I got put on the emergency list for help somehow which I think means they were worried that I'd down a bottle or two of nail polish remover despite the fact that I insisted that, while I was pretty depressed, I was far from suicidal. What the emergency list actually seems to mean is that they have a meeting about me in a couple of days and maybe I'll be able to see a counselor a week after that. Just as well I don't have the stomach for nail polish remover. Anyway. I've had my first appointment so it seems appropriate to write about how it went.

   I don't think she was actually a counselor but she was a very nice person which is always a good start. She insisted I have plenty of water to drink, sit down, and be complimented on my most defining characteristic: my hair.

This is how long and red it is now. Also,  keep in  mind it (nor I) hardly ever look this good.

While I take pride in my hair (sometimes, when I can be bothered, because with this amount of it its like taking care of a small child) it was not what I had in mind for this session. I don't know, I wanted to focus on things that I struggle to cope with, such as adoption, this bloody break up, motivation, etc. Maybe discuss stategies for coping.

   Nope. Apparently my hair is amazing and that should cure my depression.

   The only strategy suggested was to go for a daily walk in order to start to get more fit and motivate me to do something damn it. Anyway then it snowed, so I think I've been for my walk maybe four times in the last couple of weeks since the appointment? I dont know if it's helping. Anyway.

   I have no idea when the next appointment is and at the moment I'm struggling to care. I really wanted to be able to tell you guys that I'm feeling more positive about things since deciding to "get help" but now that I've actually done that, things feel more vague and pointless than ever.

  Hopefully the next update is happier..

Adventures of a Single Girl

   Yeah so, in the last post I wrote about how excited I was for Valentines Day and then there were lots of pretty pictures of Scott and I and the cupcakes he made me and... well it's been a couple of months since and we just broke up. Even cupcakes can't save your relationship is the lesson to take away from that folks. But seriously. It was a mutual decision and it ended amicably. By amicably, I mean actually amicably, the sort of break up where you txt each other every few days to see how the other is coping and still have nice conversations where you gossip about the Dunedin music scene, as opposed to "amicably" which is when you tell all your friends that you aren't cut up about it in the slightest yet you still marinate yourself in rum and cheap wine and Facebook stalk him while sobbing to yourself and sending him angry messages about how he was so selfish to leave you.

   No. This genuinely ended amicably. And he doesn't see a huge future for himself in the Dunedin music scene, just so you know. Which is fair enough, the music industry here is a bit of a joke if you actually want to be successful.

   Anyway, I decided it was time to get back into blogging now I have something to write about and document my experiences of being single. Why? Well first of all, I intend to stay single for a while. I started dating Scott not long after getting out of another relationship, so it's been a while since I've done this. (I don't know what I'm doing.) Also because, let's be honest, what else am I doing with my life right now?

Certainly not this. At all. Especially not at three in the morning.

   Anyway, expect updates on this.