A Thought I Had at Two in the Morning

   You know how people advise you not to look at yourself in the mirror when you're on hallucinogens as it may freak you out? I feel the same way about my pets. Seriously. I think if I were ever to do that, I couldn't look at my rats.

   Why? Well, occasionally when I'm watching them play, one of them will look me in the eye, and for a split second, I feel as if I'm looking into the soul of another human being. I know it's bizarre and it makes no sense whatsoever. That's cool. But then I start thinking. What if my rats were able to comprehend things like a person? What would they think of the silly names I call them, or that I lock them in a cage every night? Would they be humiliated about the time I made them dance to Lady Gaga? Sure, they're loved and well cared for and I play with them and feed them and make sure they have water and clean their cage almost daily even though that is my least favourite activity. But I still wonder if my pets love me as much as I love them.

   They didn't seem to enjoy Lady Gaga as much as they seemed to like The Prodigy and Nirvana. I wonder if they can tell the music, even individual songs, apart or if it all just sounds the same to them and they classify it all as "loud, human related noise."

   I'd never tell them that they enjoyed Deadmau5 though. I reckon that would be the biggest shock of their little lives. Well, that and the day that I tell them they're adopted.

Look at their little faces! How could I drop a bombshell like that on them? Yes, I'm aware that makes me a hypocrite. So what?

   I'm sorry this got so mum-blog on you. "LOOK AT MY KIDS. AREN'T THEY SO SPECIAL AND BEAUTIFUL! BEING A MUM IS SO HARD BUT IT'S THE MOST IMPORTANT JOB IN THE WORLD!!!!!!111"

   I promise I will never have human children of my own. Or if I do, I won't subject them to this. It's ok. The rats can't read.